by Rebecca Hartfield, LCSW
“Triggered.” This is a word that many Americans are familiar with using in today’s world. It is a state that many individuals experience in certain environments, with certain people and in certain situations.
The word “triggered” is often used to describe the sense of emotional and physical dysregulation that is experienced when our brain and body recognize that the information we are receiving is threatening. Many triggers happen in relationships. Recognizing that we have the power to neutralize the triggers that result in dysregulation is a powerful step in creating fulfilling relationships. Emotional regulation can determine how we interact with our spouses or partner and determine how we parent.
Our first step in managing emotional regulation is understanding what causes or triggers dysregulation. How do we do this? We begin by becoming a detective. Asking ourselves how we feel in certain situations, acknowledging and accepting the feeling then communicating the feeling in a kind and constructive manner.
Mastering emotional regulation takes time and practice. Emotional regulation is paramount for promoting healthy communication, developing emotional bonds and resolving conflict in a healthy manner.
So, what impacts our ability to regulate? Many factors may have an impact, but the big three are: our past traumas, mental health and learned behaviors. Understanding these three factors can direct and inform how regulation can be learned.
How do we learn to regulate? We start by exploring, learning, and utilizing three strategies. First is mindfulness. Mindfulness activities include journaling, diaphragmatic breathing, prayer, yoga, grounding exercises and so much more. The second strategy is to engage in utilizing effective communicating techniques. I personally refer to “The Relationship Cure” by John Gottman for building the foundation for healthy communication. The third strategy is to engage in counseling. Finding a therapist you can connect with to guide you in learning self-regulation strategies is invaluable.
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